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writing prompt - set 4 - hunger

Title: The Hunger - part 1
Author: Gilesbabe
Pairing: Buffy/Giles
Songfic
Rating: FRC Totally harmless, no cussing, and no sex.
Disclaimers: I do not own the characters used in this story and I am making no profit from it. This story is purely for entertainment purposes. I do not have the right to use the song The Hunger, music by Stan Meissner, lyrics by Fred Mollin, from the Forever Knight soundtrack.

When I saw the prompt of hunger, the song immediately came to mind and the story sort of wrote itself. Kinda nice, since I've been enduring a dry spell, writing wise.


The Hunger - part 1

Giles sat in the dark club watching Buffy and a group of the new Slayers out on the dance floor. He hadn't wanted to come, felt out of place in, of all things, a Goth club. It had been Dawn's idea and the others had thought it funny. Dawn had insisted that he come. She didn't want him to sit at the hotel and brood about their losses. He shook his head. One of these days he was going to have to become immune to the Summers' pout.

A new song started and for some reason it caught his attention. Perhaps because he could actually hear and understand the words. Unfortunately, it also matched his mood.

"Close your eyes.
And walk the endless night to sleep.
No good-bye's.
And no more promises to keep.
Light the light.
And follow closely as you lead.
It ends tonight.
It fills the emptiness in me.
You must give in
You must give in
A game that you can't win
The hunger."

It was a constant ache, deep inside, but an ache he had learned to live with. Any hope that it might be slaked ended the day he had acknowledged its existence. The day she had uttered those words.

"You're very, very, old and it's gross."

He knew it had been a knee-jerk reaction. A child hitting out at something that had frightened it. Because, even though she had been 18 years old, even with everything she had endured since becoming the Slayer, in some ways Buffy had still been a child. A part of it had also been due to her Father's involvement with younger women. He knew that she saw him as a surrogate father, so the reaction hadn't been totally unexpected.

Still, it had hurt. That she didn't see him as a man, but as an OLD man. That brief stab of pain had been unexpected and he hadn't wanted to examine it too closely. So he had retaliated and had driven her away. It wasn't until the dark hours of the night, as he stared at the ceiling while Olivia slept in his arms, that the truth had struck. He loved Buffy.

It wasn't that his love suddenly made him blind to her faults. He was all too aware of them, since, for the most part, they involved her behavior toward him. But the human heart has a will of its own and gives itself as it pleases. Even after the night she had chosen Spike, and had told him that she no longer needed him. Even after she had shut the door in his face, his heart continued to love her.

Indeed, the hunger had risen up in him, shouting at him to break down the door and show her that she did need him. Not as a teacher, not even as a Watcher, but as a man. A living, breathing man whose blood flowed hotly in his veins. The only thing that had stopped him had been the years of practice in repressing the hunger. That and the knowledge that she would no doubt beat him to a pulp if he did do the things he wanted to do.

In the darkness of the club he could allow himself to watch her openly. Watch her body move to the beat of the song. He felt his desire rising and drew a deep breath. This was a very bad idea. He closed his eyes, trying to maintain control, but it made things worse. In his mind he saw himself move onto the dance floor and pull Buffy into a close embrace. Staring intently into one another's eyes they began to move to the music. He twined his fingers in her hair, pulling her face up for his kiss.

"Giles?"

His eyes snapped open and Buffy gasped, taking a step back. He looked away, but it was too late. She had seen his secret. In the silence between them the song ended.

"A game that you can't win.
The hunger."

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