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Title: In A Lifetime, (3 & 4 of 30)
Author: gilesbabe
Rating: R - for language Cas has quite the potty mouth in this one.
Pairing: Dean/Castiel, eventually
Word Count: 2091
Spoilers: Season six – after episode 6.15, The French Mistake.
Warnings: Angst.
Summary: 30 snapshots showing a developing relationship

Summary: Dean speaks to Cas.


Speak



"Dean I would feel better if you slept downstairs in the study. What if you fell and we didn’t hear you? If you were downstairs we would know if something happened.”

Dean gave a little snort. “Sammy, I understand that you are worried, but I need some privacy. At the hospital that door was open all the time, anybody walking by could look in. There were times I could feel someone staring at me, but when I would ask who was there, they wouldn’t answer. It was freaking me out. It got so bad the last few days that didn’t want to take my meds cause I was worried about people coming in to look at me while I was asleep.”

Dean sat down on the bed. “It would almost be the same here. The study is wide open. I would never know when you or Bobby was looking at me from one of the other rooms. Up here I have a door I can shut and know that I’m alone.” He lay down and stretched out with a sigh. “I paced out this room and the bathroom, and you cleared everything off the floor, right?”

“Right.” Sam replied.

“Well then, I can’t trip over anything in here, and I promise I won’t try to go down the stairs unless you or Bobby is with me. Deal?”

Sam signed. “Dean,” he began.

“Besides,” Dean cut in, “this is only until Cas comes and fixes me, so no need to make any permanent changes.”

There was a long pause. “Dean, it’s been three weeks. I think Cas would have showed up by now, don’t you?”

Dean sat up on the far side of the bed, his back to Sam. “So it’s taking him a little while to get out of whatever trap Raphael put him in. Cas will find a way.”

Sam moved over and put his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Dean,” he said softly, “maybe Cas isn’t trapped. Maybe Cas is dead.”

“No! Cas isn’t dead.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I think I would.”

Sam stared at him in disbelief. Dean chuckled. “Stop giving me that face.” Dean shrugged. “I think I would know. He’s not dead. He’ll be here when he can.”

Sam shook his head but didn’t say anything. He went over to the dresser and opened a bottle of pills and brought two back over to Dean with a bottle of water. “Here, take your meds.”

Dean scowled, but swallowed the pills and lay back on the bed. “Night, Sam.”

Sam wanted to talk more, but was willing to let Dean put it off. At least for now. “Night, Dean. I’ll be up to get you in the morning.” He turned off the over head light and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Dean heaved a deep sigh and listened carefully to the sound of Sam walking down the hall then going down the stairs. He gave it a couple of minutes to make sure no one was coming back up the stairs then said, “Hey, Cas.”

He stopped, cleared his throat, and started again. “So, um, maybe I’m crazy but somehow I think you can hear me. If not, then I guess I just need to talk to someone who can’t talk back, can’t tell me how I should or shouldn’t be feeling, and you’re it. I love Sammy, don’t get me wrong, but I’m about ready to hit him. He acts like I’m made of glass and I’ll break if I stub my toe.”

Dean paused. “First things first. If Sam really did see you that day, then you know I was hurt pretty bad. In fact it was worse than it looked. My face is scarred and the doctors said I’ll need surgery later to remove some of the scar tissue or I’ll have trouble talking and eating, anything that uses the muscles in my cheeks and jaws. But, that’s down the road. The big thing is my eyes.”

Dean had to swallow hard before he could continue. “I’m blind now, Cas. Flying debris severed the optic nerve in both my eyes.” He had to stop again and take a couple of deep breaths. “But that’s not what bothers me the most. What bothers me is not knowing where you are. Blind I can learn to live with, but, damn it, Cas, we were just starting to get our friendship back on track then that douche Balthazar had to pull that stunt and I started yelling at you again.”

“I told Sam that I was sure you are alive, that I would feel it if you were dead. I hope I’m right.” Dean yawned. “Crap, these meds kick in fast. I’ll be mumbling here in a couple of minutes. So, stay alive, Cas. Find a way out of whatever trap old Raphie put you in.” He yawned again. “Talk to you later. Night, Cas.”

********

One month later and not much had changed. Sam was still treating Dean like he was fine china, Dean was goading Sam every chance he got, and Bobby was thinking locking Sam in the panic room. Or Dean. It didn’t matter which one, they were both getting on his nerves. Dean continued to speak to Castiel every night before he went to sleep, but he was getting discouraged. The phone call brought a welcome diversion.

Bobby came in from the study. “Friend of mine down in Sioux City needs some help. She’s pretty sure there’s a nest of vampires in a little town near there, Sergeant Bluff. It’s not that far, but it’ll probably take a couple of days. I’ll be leaving here shortly.”

Dean sat up from where he had been slouched on the couch listening to an episode of Dr. Sexy. “Take Sam with you.”

“No, Dean,” Sam protested, “I won’t leave you here by yourself. What if something happened?”

“Sam,” Dean growled. “What the hell can happen to me here? I’m safe here, but Bobby doesn’t need to be facing a nest of vampires by himself.”

“His friend can help him, the one who called.”

“Actually she can’t,” Bobby said. “She’s just an informer. Someone who knows about things and keeps an eye open. She calls me so I can send a hunter her way. I’ve got several people around the country that do the same thing. How do you think I get all of my tips? Anyway, no other hunters are in the area and vamps aren’t something you just ignore. I’m going.”

“And you’re going with him.”

“No, I’m not. I’m staying here with you.”

“Damn it, Sam, I need to learn how to do things myself.” Dean yelled, “Are you planning on being my fucking seeing-eye dog for the rest of our lives?” He stomped in the direction of the stairs.

Sam watched and as Dean stepped on the first stair he said, “Are you ready to admit that Cas is dead?”

Dean jerked to a stop, his hands clenched in fists. “No. He’s not dead.” He continued up the stairs and a few moments later Sam heard the bedroom door slam.

Bobby slapped Sam across the back of his head. “Idjit. Don’t push him about the angel.”

“He has to start facing facts, Bobby.”

“So do you.”

“What?”

“Dean can take care of himself, at least for a couple of days, as long as we make a few preparations.” Bobby shook his head, as Sam started to protest. “We have to let him try, Sam, or this could break him.”

Sam looked at Bobby, tears in his eyes. “I can’t risk it. You know how close it was. I don’t want to lose him, Bobby, not now, not after everything we’ve gone through.”

Bobby patted him on the shoulder. “He’ll be fine. Like I said, we’ll get some things ready and I’ll have my friend Jody drop by. He’ll have his cell phone. He’ll be okay.” Bobby took a few steps towards the kitchen, then stopped. “And, just maybe, he’ll admit to himself that Castiel isn’t coming. It’ll give him a chance to grieve for the angel,” he said softly. “He’s stubborn, and he won’t back down in front of us. Not yet. But this might be a start.”

**************

Dean was lying on the bed, trying not to think, when there was a soft tap on the door. “Dean?” Sam asked quietly. “Can I come in?”

Dean sat up. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, about what I said about Cas. And you’re right; Bobby can’t face a nest of vampires alone. But I have a couple of conditions.”

“Of course you do.”

“You stay downstairs. Sleep in the study, or on the couch in the living room. No cooking. Bobby has made a bunch of ham and roast beef sandwiches and they are on the top shelf in the fridge. Chips and cookies are in the cabinet next to the fridge. Oh, and take your meds. I know you don’t think you need to, but the doctors said take them until they are gone, and you have a weeks’ worth still to go. I have each dosage in little cups on the kitchen table. The cell phone is to be with you at all times, and leave it turned on; the charge won’t run down in just two days. Bobby has programmed a couple of numbers into the speed dial for some local people who can come if you need help. Okay?”

Dean was stunned. They were going to let him stay by himself. Damn, he never thought that Sam would do it. “Sure, that sounds reasonable.”

“Come on back down, we’re getting ready to leave.”

“Now?”

“Sooner we go, the sooner we’ll get back.”

“True.”

Five minutes later Dean closed and locked the front door. He stood listening until he could no longer hear the Impala, then made his way back to the sofa. Wow. Two days alone, maybe three. Dean chuckled. Alone. He could do anything he wanted; listen to his music as loud as he wanted, stay up all night with the TV on, hell, he could even strip and walk around the house naked. No one to see, no one to bother him.

Hmm. Naked. That was an idea. He ran his hand slowly down his chest and pressed lightly over his cock. He had not had any ‘alone’ time for quite a while. Of course he couldn’t look at his most recent issue of Busty Asian Beauties, but he had a good imagination. He popped the button on his jeans, then stopped.

Bobby and Sam hadn’t been gone very long, they could still come back. In fact if Sam didn’t come up with some reason to come back at least once he would be really surprised. So, no ‘alone’ time just yet. And he’d be willing to bet that Bobby had asked someone to ‘drop by’ just to check up on him. He’d better leave the ‘alone’ time until he was positive that he wasn’t going to be interrupted.

Dean sighed. Listening to Dr. Sexy wasn’t nearly as much fun as watching. He hadn’t realized how much of the show depended on being able to see the interactions of the characters. Most television shows were that way. None of the music channels played the classics, just modern crap, so they were out too. That left the news channels or the weather channel. At least on those they said the time, so he would be able to keep track of how slow the day was going. Guess he’d talk to Cas a little early today.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean started. Off to his left came the sound of wings. Startled, Dean sat up, his head automatically turning towards the sound. “Cas? That you?” No answer. Dean stood up, frowning. “Who is it? Who’s there?”

“Well, what have we here? Has dear Castiel’s toy been broken?”

He had only heard that voice once before, but Dean recognized it and he felt a chill run down his spine. “Raphael,” he growled.

“I’m flattered that you remember me,” the voice came from his right and Dean swiveled to face it. “Then again,” the voice was now behind him, close behind him, “you do have the reputation for paying close attention to attractive women and I believe, that by human standards, this vessel is attractive.”

A hand gripped his left arm, keeping him from turning again. The hand slid up his arm and under the sleeve of his shirt, settling over Castiel’s mark. Raphael’s voice purred into his ear. “Castiel warned me that if I touched you he would, how did he put it, ‘fucking destroy’ me. Well, Castiel, I’m touching your precious Dean and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Dean stood frozen, not in fear, but in shock. When Raphael’s hand covered the mark, he had started hearing Cas’ voice in his head.

Raphael chuckled. “I wish you could hear him, Castiel has learned how to blaspheme like a human. The words he is using are quite inventive.”

Dean realized that Raphael didn’t know that he could hear Cas too, and he intuitively knew that it was important that Raphael didn’t find out. He licked his suddenly dry lips. “Yeah, he’s probably pretty pissed.”

Raphael laughed and gave Dean a shove, pushing him down onto the couch. “I’m not hurting your human, Castiel, not yet, but if I wanted to there would be nothing you could do to stop me. This is going to be much more amusing.” Dean heard the flutter of wings, and could feel that Raphael was gone. He took several deep breaths to calm down.

“Cas, Cas, it’s okay, he’s gone. He didn’t hurt me; I’m fine.” Dean started laughing. “Dude, who have you been hanging with lately? You sure as fuck didn’t learn those words from me.” Dean paused. “Cas, I could hear you. When Raphael touched me, he put his hand over your mark and I could hear you. There has to be some way that we can use that. Just hang in there, Cas. I’ll find you and get you out, I promise.”





Summary: Castiel listens to Dean

Listen




The first few days of Castiel’s imprisonment had been torture. Listening to Sam and Bobby pleading with him to come and help Dean when he could only move a few feet in either direction almost drove him mad. Hearing Sam say that Dean had died two more times that first night, even though the doctors had been able to get his heart going again, had made the heart in his vessels’ chest feel as though it had momentarily stopped as well.

After those first three days neither Sam nor Bobby had called out to him again. His world now consisted of the building he was trapped in and the faint sounds of far away cars. That sound was pretty constant, so it must be a major highway. Once, he had heard the sound of voices nearby and he had shouted, but they had not heard him. Obviously whatever was keeping people from seeing the building was muting any sound as well.

Sunlight streaming through windows high in the walls helped keep track of the passage of time, and at least once every day he tested the strength of the barrier. At night he could hear the sounds of bugs and small animals, probably mice or rats, scurrying around the building, but none ever crossed the design.

One day a cat found its way into the building. It was not feral, it was wearing a collar, and Castiel had thought that if he could put a note under the collar perhaps the owners might pass a message on to Sam. The cat had appeared to be willing to come to him, but when its paw touched the design in the floor it had hissed and ran away.

Castiel knew that Dean would be disappointed in him, but he could find no way out of the trap. He spent most of his time laying flat on his back, just listening to the sound of the wind blowing around the building, the rustle of the rodents, and the faint sound of cars.

“Hey, Cas.”

Castiel stood up, turning around to look for the source of the voice. “Dean?” Silence. Just when Castiel was thinking that he had hallucinated the voice, it came again.

“So, um, maybe I’m crazy but somehow I think you can hear me.”

Dean was talking to him. At first he didn’t really pay attention to what was being said, he was just happy to hear that voice so strong and well. So when he started listening again, what he heard was such a shock that he sank to his knees.

“I’m blind now, Cas. Flying debris severed the optic nerve in both my eyes.” Dear Father, no. Not his eyes. Dean’s soul shined so brightly through his eyes. His thoughts, his feelings, everything that made him Dean Winchester, it was all there for the entire world to see, so clear and beautiful. Father, please no. Don’t give him this burden too, not with all that he has already bourn. Castiel brought his attention back to Dean’s voice.

“I told Sam that I was sure you are alive, that I would feel it if you were dead. I hope I’m right.” He could hear Dean yawn. “Crap, these meds kick in fast. I’ll be mumbling here in a couple of minutes. So, stay alive, Cas. Find a way out of whatever trap old Raphie put you in.” Dean yawned again. “Talk to you later. Night, Cas.”

“Good night, Dean,” Castiel murmured. The rest of his night was spent going over what Dean had said, his mind filling in the parts that he had not consciously listened to at the time. Dean was alive. He was blind, and in pain from his injuries, but he was alive and he was healing.


The next month passed in much the same way. Castiel would try to escape his prison, he would watch the sunlight move across the floor, and he would listen as Dean talked to him. He marveled again at the resiliency of humans in general and Dean in particular. Every night Dean would start his conversation with some silly thing that had happened that day, usually making a joke about something he had done due to his lack of sight. He would vent his frustrations with Sam’s protectiveness, would voice his gratitude at Bobby’s calm acceptance of his attempts at independence. But he could also hear Dean’s growing fear that no one was hearing what he was saying.

“Dean, I’m here, I’m listening. If I could be there with you I would.” He threw back his head and howled his frustrations to the heavens. “Father, please! You must have brought me back for a reason. Why are you allowing this to happen?” Castiel sat back down and rested his head on his knees, feeling more alone than he ever had in his long existence.

The night passed, the sunlight flowed across the floor, but Castiel didn’t move.

Just past mid day he heard, “Hey, Cas.” His head came up sharply. Why was Dean speaking to him now? “Cas? That you?” Castiel surged to his feet, automatically pushing at the barrier, trying to get out so he could go to Dean. “Who is it? Who’s there?” Castiel battered the barrier, his fists leaving bloody marks in the air. To his horror he recognized the voice that answered Dean.

“Well, what have we here? Has dear Castiel’s toy been broken?”

His growl was echoed by Dean. “Raphael.”

Castiel lost it.

He couldn’t control himself, and the small part of him that was watching in astonishment wasn’t sure he wanted to. He flung himself at the barrier over and over.

“You bastard! Leave him alone you cock-sucking cunt! You mother-fucking son of a bitch!” The words were pouring out of his mouth without restraint. “When I get out of here you are dead, Raphael. DEAD! Even Father won’t find enough of you to bring back, assuming that he would want to bring back such a fucking miserable excuse for an archangel like you.”

He heard Raphael laugh and a red haze covered his vision. Castiel continued cursing and attacking the barrier until suddenly Dean’s voice cut through the rage.

“Cas, Cas, it’s okay, he’s gone. He didn’t hurt me; I’m fine.” Dean started laughing. “Dude, who have you been hanging with lately? You sure as fuck didn’t learn those words from me.”

Castiel leaned against the barrier, blood covering him from head to toe. He chuckled weakly. “Who else have I have a chance to hang with? Of course I learned them from you, just because you might not have said them aloud around me doesn’t mean you didn’t think them. And as I told you many times, Dean, your thoughts can be quite loud.” He straightened abruptly. “Dean?”

“Cas, I could hear you. When Raphael touched me, he put his hand over your mark and I could hear you. There has to be some way that we can use that. Just hang in there, Cas. I’ll find you and get you out, I promise.”

As Dean continued to talk, Castiel continued to chuckle. Only Dean would make that kind of promise, but then, only Dean would somehow find a way to keep it.

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
avirt75
Apr. 20th, 2011 03:39 am (UTC)
I was so happy to see that you posted some more. I'm really enjoying this fic and I can't wait to see more of it. It is truly a wonderful fic.
gilesbabe
Apr. 20th, 2011 10:19 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I'm working on #5 now and hope to have it and 6 done this weekend.
larenoz
Apr. 20th, 2011 04:07 am (UTC)
Loving this set of stories. I am looking forward to the rest.
gilesbabe
Apr. 20th, 2011 10:20 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the kind words. Working on it.
cousinmary
Apr. 20th, 2011 12:16 pm (UTC)
I'm really enjoying these. I like how you're writing Sam and Bobby's reactions as well as Dean's frustration, worry, and defiance. And poor Cas! Can't wait to see how the blind man finds the place hidden to all eyes, great work :)
gilesbabe
Apr. 20th, 2011 10:22 pm (UTC)
YES!! Exactly. He's the only one who can 'see' it. But it's not going to happen for a couple of chapters yet.

Thanks for reading.
twilighthdfan
Jun. 5th, 2011 11:29 pm (UTC)
I love that Dean hasn't lost faith in Cas (and he would feel it if Cas was gone). And, LOL, who knew Cas could swear like that? Potty mouth indeed. *goes off to read the next part*
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )